10 Horror Movie Hunks Who Greatly Affected My Impressionable Years

As I mentioned in my earlier post – 5 Reasons Why Horror Movies are Some of My Favorite Things– horror films provide an extensive variety of handsome, shirtless men in all kinds of homoerotic situations. They are guilty eye candy for the homosexual eye. This titillating truth is just one of the many valid reasons that myself, as a gay man, loves to watch them. Of course each film’s monster loves to push his way to the front, but first he has to make it past the leading man’s pecs. I have been watching horror movies for a long time and lusting after their male protagonists for just as long. Here, Gentle Reader, is a list of the 10 Horror Movie Hunks who had the greatest effect on Adam during his most impressionable years of development as a gay man. (Warning – slight, plot spoilers may exist below)

David Naughton10. David Naughton in An American Werewolf in London (1981) – Many people may feel that David was an atypical leading man and an odd choice for my number 10, but something about him always intrigued me. He may have been smaller in stature than the other men on my list, but he was very likable and sexy in an almost dorky way. The transformation scene where he becomes a werewolf for the first time is legendary. I give him props for spending so much time in this amazing film naked. He pulled those scenes off very nicely, and his superior acting skills made me sympathetic towards his character’s unfortunate fate.

Jesse Williams9. Jesse Williams in Cabin in the Woods (2012) – Granted, this film came out only 2 ½ years ago so it did not have an effect on me in my younger, more impressionable years. But have you seen Jesse Williams’ abs? He is such a presence in this film that it is almost difficult to decide whether he looks hotter in his adorable glasses or without his shirt on. The gorgeous Chris Hemsworth is also present in this film, but for me, the sex appeal is all about Jesse in this above par horror movie.

John Sheperd8. John Sheperd in Friday the 13th: Part 5: A New Beginning (1985) – John Sheperd is not an actor who’s career reached many impressive heights after his part in Friday the 13th: Part 5, and his mediocre acting in Part 5 helps to explain why. But his body left a lasting impression on me forever. His shirtless scene in the film lasts only for a minute, but the view we get of his abs, his shoulders, and his arms, helps explain why he was cast in the first place. Otherwise, let’s just say it’s a good thing that his character barely speaks through the entire rest of the film.

Nick Stabile7. Nick Stabile in Bride of Chucky (1998) – Nick Stabile is a horrendous actor. His dialogue delivery only has one uninspired level and it always comes out sounding flat. To add insult to injury, his characters always seem to look like pouty little boys even though they are in their mid-20’s. But in Bride of Chucky his biceps are certainly not flat, and his chest certainly does not make me pout. When this film is on cable TV I do end up focusing on Nick, and I think we have established that is not because of his stellar acting.

HW-02866. Chad Michael Murray in House of Wax (2005) – I developed a crush on Chad Michael Murray during his stint on season 5 of Dawson’s Creek. Over the years his upper body held up well, and when he took his shirt off for the big screen in House of Wax, viewers were not disappointed. House of Wax was a decent horror remake with an absorbing plot and decent suspense from beginning to end. Though I liked Chad better with his longer, feathery, yellow/white, Dawson’s Creek hair, he still had something worthwhile in his presence here. Perhaps it is his intensity on screen. And his nipples. Show me a more beautiful set of nipples on an actor. I dare you.

Mike Vogel5. Mike Vogel in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) – We live in an age of horror movie remakes; some good and some horrible. Still, as a long time horror movie fan, I was thrilled about this 2003 Texas Chainsaw re-envisioning, and it did not disappoint. I loved this movie’s suspense, it’s gore, and it’s thrills. But imagine my added surprise when it introduced me to the stunning Mike Vogel. The way his sweaty body commanded the screen in that dirty wife beater filled me with extra sadness when he advantageous character disappeared from the plot. I have followed his handsome career ever since. Has anyone else seen him in the 2009 thriller Across the Hall? God was he hot in that movie, as well!

Chrisitan Bale4. Christian Bale in American Psycho (2000) – In honor of full disclosure, I find the Christian Bale of the last ten years to be extremely annoying. He has become too over exposed and every time I turn around I am being forced to hear his same gruff voice that ruined the new Batman trilogy for me. So, personally, I’m about ready for him to go away. That being said, his physique in the film American Psycho earns him any fame and fortune that life has brought him since. I am hard pressed to think of a horror movie leading man whose body ever looked this sculpted. He resembles an ancient greek marble sculpture. Patrick Bateman is the role I prefer to remember him for. Besides, American Psycho is super fun and Bale really has a great time with this insane and eccentric character. His Huey Lewis speech before he murders Jared Leto is marvelous!

Kevin Bernhardt3. Kevin Bernhardt in Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth (1992) – The Hellraiser films are in a league of their own. So many layers of meaning exist below the plots and within the characters. Clive Barker is one of my favorite movie directors, and the fact that he is openly gay does not hurt his case at all. Though Barker did not direct Hellraiser 3, and though it is an inferior film to the first two, Barker’s presence and dark sexuality are still present and intoxicating to those who think outside of the box. Kevin Bernhardt’s marvelous body and spot on portrayal of the narcissistic night club owner J.P. Monroe is sexy for all the wrong reasons. J.P. is selfish, self-centered, and evil, but his sexual darkness feels right at home in a Hellraiser film. His 90’s hair cut, his muscles, and his large, black undies are forever etched into my brain, for better or worse.

Bradley Stryker2. Bradley Stryker in The Brotherhood (2001)The Brotherhood, directed by David DeCoteau, is one of the worst horror films I have ever seen. In fact it can barely be considered ‘horror’. It takes bad filmmaking to a new height. The film barely has any plot at all and the characters spend more time aimlessly walking or jogging around through long, pointless, slow motion shots than they do talking. There is no suspense and nothing of relevance here; except for Bradley Stryker in his black boxer briefs. Visually he has stuck with me since my first viewing of this otherwise pathetic film. Bradley has one of those unrealisticly, muscular builds that reminds me of my old He-Man action figures. His waist seems too small for how wide and beefed up his chest is, yet the disproportion is sexy as hell and breath stealing.

Ryan Phillippe1. Ryan Phillippe in I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) – There is not a single scene in any horror movie that has excited me more completely than Ryan Phillippe’s locker room, towel scene in I Know What You Did Last Summer. This places it, with no contest, at my number 1! I can still remember watching the film for the first time in the movie theater. A female friend had dragged me to see it and I was unenthused. I thought the film looked dumb and I had no interest in watching Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s gigantic breasts bounce around for 2 hours on the big screen. Most horror movies have shower scenes with busty females. I remember my heart jumping into my throat when I realized that, this time, Ryan Phillippe was the person in the shower right in front of me. And when his tight, defined body walked on screen wearing only that towel I thought my heart was going to officially explode. I remember being so excited that horror movies were finally starting to place men’s bodies center stage for longer periods of time than they had in the past. A part of me fell in love with Ryan Phillippe during that movie. Just like that, he became one of my favorite male actors’ bodies ever, and he remains so to this very day.

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5 Reasons Why Horror Movies are Some of My Favorite Things

friday night frights by patrick ballesteros

Artwork done by artist Patrick Ballesteros

I fell in love with horror movies when I was just a kid. I remember the draw of the ‘horror section’ in my local video rental store. Even when I was too young for my parents to allow me to browse the horror films I remember always being fascinated by the pictures that covered the VHS display boxes. I would skirt quickly back and forth by the horror section so that I could get glimpses of the terrifying drawings on their rectangular covers.

Even at that young age horror films excited me. There was something forbidden within and I could not wait to be allowed to rent them. But delving even deeper into my psyche, there has always been a sexuality to horror films that further delighted me. This sexuality comes across even in the preliminary stage of simply observing the pictures off the front and back of a horror film’s VHS case. These pictures stimulated my mind with the possible stories that lay just beyond my reach. I know that VHS tapes are a thing of the past, but I truly feel that our culture is worse off due to their absence and, for that matter, the disappearance of video rental stores in general.

When I reached my teenage years my friends and I used to take turns getting our parents to drive us to the video store so that we could continue to rent and consume the entire horror section which we had become obsessed with. We used to run around the store choosing from classic and new horror monsters in an attempt to terrify each other later that evening. It felt like we were choosing an adventure for ourselves that night instead of only watching actors undertake their own ghastly adventures against demons and killers. A night in my parents’ basement with popcorn, pizza, candy, friends and two promising horror films was the formula for total teenage happiness and bliss.

I love horror movies. They have helped make me the man I am today.

vhs videos2In honor of October, my favorite month, and my upcoming favorite holiday, Halloween, let us explore five reasons why horror movies are some of my favorite things and still one of my favorite means of passing time.

  1. The Fanboy Connections: Horror movies are conversation starters. “Do you like horror movies?” is one of the first questions I ask when I am on a date or when I am meeting a person for the first time. If horror movies are a common interest, then you have an instant friend and a now endless array of topics to discuss. The horror genre is full of fanboys, and for that matter fangirls. Any film genre that inspires its’ fans to dress up like their favorite monsters, create their own fan fiction, and cover their rooms with gruesome film posters and toys is a genre I want to be a part of. The camaraderie amongst lovers of gore is unparalleled. I’m a proud horror movie fanboy.
  2. The Thrill of Being Scared: Studies have been done in an attempt to explain why some human beings’ twisted minds enjoy being scared by a horror film. We seek out thrills as an escape from our mundane and boring daily lives. Horror films, like roller coasters, present us with exciting, extreme situations which could be dangerous and therefore cause our hearts to race and our foreheads to bead with sweat. But while they expose us to dangerous situations they are controlled and ultimately completely safe. The killer isn’t actually in the room with you. This flirting with danger has always appealed to me.

    amityville horror 2005 remake ryan reynolds shirtless axe beard

    Ryan Reynolds in the 2005 The Amityville Horror Remake

  3. The Shirtless Men: Horror movies are full of sex, nudity and eroticism. They are many young boys’, and young girls’, first forays into soft-core porn. As a young man, who later turned out to be gay, I was always drawn to images of the beautiful male body. Horror films have many beautiful images of shirtless hunks to choose from. These films became some of my first visual studies of other men’s physiques and how they acted in sexual situations. I learned a lot about sex from the horror genre and a lot about muscles.
  4. The Lessons: Critics of the horror genre like to dismiss horror films as trashy pieces saturated with unnecessary and endless amounts of gore, poor plots and violence for no reason. Granted, as in any genre, there are the occasional bad seeds with horrid plots and useless characters. But I have always said that any truly good and worthwhile horror movie has an important message: a lesson. The capable characters in a well-constructed horror film must observe the signs, follow the clues, react intelligently and they will learn the lesson and survive. Horror films can teach us a lot about the world and the murky depths of the human soul. I’ve certainly learned a lot from them about navigating this treacherous thing called life.
  5. The Monsters: Who doesn’t love a good monster? I, as much as anyone else, love them for their ability to scare me and to make me jerk upright in my seat. But I also love monsters for their unique ability to intrigue me and to elicit sympathy from me. Many horror monsters are tragic figures, victims of unfair circumstances or wrongs done to them by others or by nature. My favorite monsters make me feel something extra, on top of my fear. Glimpsing the humanity behind the mask can be a pretty amazing and worthwhile experience. In the end, many horror villains are more relatable then most people would care to admit. Besides, we all have a little monster inside of us, buried way down deep in the dark…childs play chucky