Inspiration from my Gay Brothers

inspireIn my post today I would like to take a moment to talk about inspiration. Specifically, the inspiration I have found through two wonderful gay bloggers and their written words. In the brief time I have been back in the blogosphere I have been making a valiant effort to search around and expand my horizons by reading other people’s blogs, making sure to leave comments, and intentionally trying to make friends. I must say that, this time around, my blogging experience has been made that much richer by these connections.

I would like to place my ‘In Search of Adam’ spotlight on two bloggers in particular and give them much earned recognition. I also want to take a moment to explain why they inspire me and why I continue to visit their blogs.

That’s So Gay – light hearted truth

If you are looking for a place to get daily updates on what is happening with gay culture in the U.S. and around the world, then ‘That’s So Gay’ is a great place to visit. Not only are the posts relevant, well written and informative, but they are infused with humor at all the right times. I enjoy my time spent at this blog because not only do I learn something on each visit, but I leave feeling genuinely entertained by someone who feels like a friend. This blog inspires me to become more educated about a community that I proudly find myself a part of.

The Open Closet: Letters From A Gay Man
 – genuine honesty

‘The Open Closet’ is a blog filled with an easy to read voice and sincere heart behind every word. It is a personal blog depicting one gay man’s thoughts on topics ranging from ‘coming out’, to love, to trying to force yourself to ‘man up’. I love this blog because of how completely its author bares his soul to us. His stories are detailed, honest and simply there for others to learn from and relate to. He kindly invites you to travel along his journey with him, and somehow accomplishes to sound gentle and strong at the same time. As a person who has experienced many of the same types of struggles, I find that his stories make me feel safe. This blog inspires me to believe that things are going to be all right. I admire this blogger’s strength.

When I originally started this blog back in 2011 it was much harder to find other blogs written by gay men or women. It amazes me that in just three years this has changed so drastically. Granted, WordPress has made some wonderful advancement in how their site is set up and that makes it much easier for all of us to connect. The Reader, for instance, was new to me this time around and I find it to be amazingly useful.

gay reading

Some Good Gay Reading

Since so many people are still struggling to ‘come out’ and love themselves, it really is inspiring to read about others in this world who have experienced similar struggles and successes and that care about similar issues and current events. Because of these things, my blogging experience is becoming an ever more fulfilling and healing process. There are so many amazing people out there baring their souls for all of us to learn from and connect with.

Keeping in the spirit of this post, here are a few more blogs I have come across whose authors are fun, interesting and who honestly talk about their lives while proving that being GAY in today’s world is normal and, for lack of a better word, fabulous.

A Queer Notion – television & film reviews from a sapiosexual
Normal Is What You Know – humor & seriousness mixed
Check them out, Gentle Reader. They deserve a look.
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Reasons to ‘Come Out’

I originally wrote the post below in February 2011 when I was still a closeted gay man. At the time, it was to be the fourth entry in my series exploring my everyday thoughts on ‘coming out’ of the closet. I think its message is important to post even three years later.

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In case my last two posts seemed too bleak, how about we change our focus to some positive sense of hope? After all, in difficult times, HOPE is vital.

Hope is vitalI believe that when I finally do come out there will be several positive results. I hold these close to me when I begin to feel hopeless. If you, my reader, have any to add, please do. I’m sure I will realize more to add to the list over time. That is one of the great things about life. As we walk down this road, more positives will always come to light.

These help me know that it will all be ok.

 Reasons to come out…

  1. The feeling of relief
  2. How proud I will feel of myself for being strong enough to say the words, “I am Gay”
  3. Finally feeling like I am living the truth
  4. The chance to stop constantly lying
  5. Freedom
  6. To open myself up fully to new friendships
  7. To open myself up fully to love
  8. To unleash my creativity
  9. To smile more often
  10. To hopefully feel less afraid
  11. I will finally feel like people can get to know me
  12. I will finally be able to get to know myself

Opening ‘The Closet’ to Peer Out

My name is Adam and I am a closet case.

Boy peeking thorough an open doorSome important facts about me: I’m 28 years old. I live in a small town in the northeastern United States. When I was growing up I wanted to be a ninja turtle; mostly I wanted to be Michelangelo. I really enjoy watching horror movies. I’m much more of a dog person than a cat person, but I do really respect cats. The older I get the more sad movies have a tendency to make me tear up. My favorite color is blue. Oh yea, and I am sexually attracted to men and in numerous ways that is tearing me apart.

I really started to suspect I was gay my freshman year at college. Prior to that I just thought I enjoyed putting a great deal of effort into my relationships with my best guy friends. In the last ten years I’ve experienced many stages in dealing with my sexuality. I’ve denied being gay. I’ve tried to convince myself I was bi. I’ve dealt with feeling like something was physically wrong with me and I will never be able to live comfortably as a gay man. And now after all these years, I’ve realized that it is time to overcome these frustrations. I owe it to myself to be out and who I am. Though I am not quite ready to ‘come out’ just yet…

As a person who has used writing to cope since I was a teenager, I’ve been toying with the idea for this blog for years now.  At first, while I thought it could be helpful, it was unrealistic because I would never have the balls to actually do it. Rationally, I struggled with putting my thoughts and feelings so nakedly out in the world for complete strangers to read. Now, this blog is something I am being drawn to, almost like it has a purpose that is too big for me to fully understand right now.

79123123I will be 29 in a little over a month. I’ve decided that I do not wish to be 30 years old and in the closet. The purpose of this blog is: For me to express myself, for me to have a place to focus my thoughts and fears, for me to have a tool to help me connect with others, for me to hopefully draw strength from others, and finally to maybe even provide help and inspiration to others. Put another way, I am writing this blog to help me come to terms with being gay, to accept myself for all that I am as a person, and to move on with my life.

I know I am not the only person going through these things, and it is time to stop living like I am. It’s time I start searching for outside assistance. If you are gay, straight or bi- man or woman – black, yellow or green, I hope you will be able to find inspiration from this blog. And if you find me interesting enough to follow along this journey with me, I thank you here, at the beginning, for your support.

I’m not ‘there’ yet, my friend. But we can make it together. It’s all happening.

Onward and up…